i have not witnessed many people dying in their deathbeds. and the last wake i have gone to was that of the late Cory Aquino's. and though i don't fear death at all, it still makes me shudder upong hearing harrowing deaths of innocent people killed by unknown criminals.
i am not in any way related to the Lozanos but i feel for them. if a mother would wail to her heart's content for a daughter's or son's death, what difference does it make for a father?
seeing lawyer Oliver Lozano talk on TV early this evening, with his voice cracking, i knew right there and then that for a father to find his son lifeless and burnt beyond recognition felt like more than "hell."
that has left me thinking how could a man slaughter another man?
i am a retired soldier's daughter. and though i was used to my dad's stories in the battlefield, i have yet to witness remains of brutally murdered individuals in person. i would only see dead bodies of violently killed people through pictures, those of fellow journalists and others in the maguindanao massacre, and i was never used to seeing them.
i have so much respect for human life, and even that of animals'. and it was even once a childhood dream to cure the sick and the dying. to see people being slaughtered by fellowmen drives me to so much tears. my heart aches for innocent lives being snuffed out.
perhaps there was a reason my childhood dream never collided with reality, because emotional people are not meant to be in operating rooms and hospitals where deaths are commonplace.
i know. i have got a low emotional quotient. but forgive me i am just being myself. and it is not surprising that i cry over deaths of people i am not even related to. so i am putting this entry to end cause as this writing gets longer, my heart sinks deeper. and i don't wanna get emotional again.
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